Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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