Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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