my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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