Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Watching her eat just hurts me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
