He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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