you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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