oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
