i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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