Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just found puke in my bra..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
