Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
