party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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