bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
