Christians are straight up FREAKS
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
