Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
