I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
