I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
this is an emotional support booty call
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
