I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i think i have two assholes
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
