You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
