i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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