Is it normal to miss your booty call?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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