I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
