We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
