i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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