Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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