Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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