i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
