the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
