Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
