Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
