she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
