its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
