I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
