I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
