we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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