How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
