You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
