I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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