Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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