i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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