You're so nebulous sometimes
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
