just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
