Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
