At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
