if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
