My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
