You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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