Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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