K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
