My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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