some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
